remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize