I wish i was in the wii world.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
