The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
