I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
