I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
