you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
