My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
