I hate all girls vehemently.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
