let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
