I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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