Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize