I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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