i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize