That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If that was your dad, he is hot
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
