dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize