Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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