One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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