is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Randomize
