Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
