no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
