That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
