I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize