either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
