i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's Friday. Sex?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
wow bdsm is so cute
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
