My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
