Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
