I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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