Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
