I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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