My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
