My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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