told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
