Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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