Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
