I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
