Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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