I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
