He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
