I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You ruined the universe
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
