I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
