We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize