Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
