I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
