i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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