Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
