Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
