what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
