So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
