Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No subtext here. People are naked.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
