In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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