I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
