she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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