Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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