Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
