**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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