called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize