Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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