The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
