I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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